Welcome! (+ Euphamisms)

The Pocket Watch
Almost Schizoid
System Error 616
Unimagined Ramblings

In my youth I was never bestowed a nickname. An action beyond my own making, but one I find myself in possession of a curious regret over. 

I recall an unremarkable event in primary school when, attempting to amend this, we noticed that my name 'Chris Parsons' may be abbreviated to 'Chris P' and thus pronounced 'Crispy'. Even this deliberate forgery, based on my own real name's architecture, collapsed when it was pointed out that 'crispy' (in the Kentish accent at least) is pronounced closer to 'Chris B'. This delighted Chris Bennett and off he trotted with a new nickname.

Perhaps events such as these caused me to feel compelled to develop online pseudonyms. Many people I followed online at the time (Egoraptor, Rubberninja, Jontron, Peanut Butter Gamer, etc.) all had their brand, their e-nym: Why not me? 

Peculiarly though, none of my constructs seemed to stick for long. Some persisted, clinging to relevance as a child does to anything that isn't immediate death. Some decayed into embarrassment so precipitously that I deliberately neglected their inclusion above.  I found myself hopping from one stepping-sona to the next, leading to a system of usernames strung throughout the internet like the myriad workings of the enigma machine, and about as easy to decipher.

The year is now 2016 and my most recent nomenclaturial decision is to take an unprecendented byline and use my actual, real, birth name for my internet presence. And here we find ourselves, blinking and confused in the headlights of reality, at my new website. 

No names to hide behind, no branding as garnish, no theming as cohesion, no pretense at artificial professionalism or longevity. I'm just a 23 year-old man, still living with (above) his parents, making crap in his spare time to fill the void others fill with sport, beer or friends.

Do enjoy if you can.
If you can't, don't spoil it for others.

Be seeing you!